Tomorrow I turn 30 years old and instead of descending into a full fledged panic attack, I have decided to sit down and think about the life lessons that have been bestowed upon me throughout my life. Some life lessons have been happily gained and some I would have rather stayed naive to, but all have served me well going forward in life. In celebration of this milestone birthday, I now present you with my top 30 lessons I’ve learned by the age of 30.

30 Years of “Wisdom”:

1-  Being afraid to start over isn’t a good enough reason to stay with a partner. There is someone out there for everyone and you WILL find them. Wait for this person and learn how to be fearlessly yourself in the meantime.

2-  It’s going to hurt when an ex moves on, even if you were the one who ended the relationship. Immerse yourself in something that will benefit you in the long run — work out, start a business, travel somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Anything to occupy your time and negative energy. Getting under someone else may seem like it fixes things for a short time but it will all come crashing down anyways. Let it be with your dignity in hand and keep that particular list as exclusive as possible.

3-  What people think of you is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Stay true to yourself and the real friends who are in the ring fighting with you.

4-  Don’t waste energy on things that don’t reciprocate. Every day you wake up with a certain amount of energy that you distribute throughout the day. If you put that energy towards things that give you back positive energy, you will always be fulfilled. However, if you put your energy towards things that don’t give you back anything or give you back negative energy (toxic people, Facebook stalking your ex, even complaining/thinking negatively), you will always be in a deficit and will never find true fulfillment.

5-  Don’t step on others to get ahead. It might help propel you at first, but in the end, it will be what stops your success. Karma always catches up.

6-  Pay for your own crap. College, your car, your travels…there’s something satisfying about being able to step back and look at your life knowing you own all of it.

7-  Don’t rack up credit card debt. It’s SO hard to get out of that hole and it will end up robbing you of potential experiences in the future. Also, DO NOT open up all those store credit cards! You DO NOT need them for the coupons. Pay cash and Google the coupons (hello, www.retailmenot.com). A good rule of thumb: if you can’t afford it right now, you can’t have it right now.

8-  “This too shall pass.” Bad stuff will happen to you no matter how privileged and protected you are. Regardless of how overwhelming it may seem, time keeps marching on and things WILL get better. We can’t appreciate the good times without the bad, and we choose how we react to everything, even things out of our control. Own that choice.

9-  Keep a group of friends close to you; earn their trust and hold on to them tight. Spoil them when you can and make every effort to keep up with them and stay in each others’ lives. These are your true soul mates.

10-  Appreciate your body!! If only I was as “fat” as I thought I was at 21…

11-  Find someone you can travel with. Make adventure and travel a huge part of your life. Expand your horizons and never stop learning. If you can learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable, nothing will be able to stop you.

12-  Cherish your time with your parents. Sometimes they don’t stay in your life nearly long enough and the precious memories you’ve made are all you’re left with. Make sure you have a surplus to look back on.

13-  Treat [most of] your elders with respect but also learn how to tell someone to go to hell in a tactful way that you could never get negatively reprimanded for. It’s a powerful tool to master. Be your own advocate.

14-  Don’t stay at a job or in a career path that doesn’t make you happy all the way to your core. You spend way too much time at work to be miserable and that dissatisfaction will leech into your home life eventually. Design a life that makes your heart happy!

15-  On the same note, make a quality bed and nice sheets one of your first adult purchases. You spend a lot of your life in that thing and it should be an oasis for you to get amazing sleep in. Good sleep is the key to good health! If financially possible, buy the highest quality sheets and don’t let anyone lay on them who doesn’t match or exceed that level of quality!

16-  Girl, I don’t even care if you wash your face, but moisture that thing. At LEAST twice a day. And use sunscreen!!

17-  Most work bullies just want to be put in their place. I’ve had a handful of experiences at work where someone was intentionally mean to me when I first started. As soon as I pushed back, they morphed into some of the best coworkers.

18-  You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. That’s how you burn out and end up unable to help anyone. Remember the airplane safety video? Take care of yourself first so you can go on to help those around you..

19- Call your grandparents more often and make a conscious effort to learn about the details of their life! Eventually you’ll run out of time to hear these precious stories and you’ll likely regret missing out.

20- Make sure someone teaches you how to defrost food, treat stains and know what to do if you get into a fender bender. If no one taught you, figure it out! Independence is the greatest gift you’ll ever give yourself and you will attract others because of it.

21- Start that retirement fund as early as possible. Teach yourself or find someone else to handle it but be proactive about your future.

22- Go after whatever goals you want and don’t be afraid to change directions. It will be what makes you an individual. Used to be a dedicated yoga junkie but now enjoy Tae Kwon Do? Own it! Everyone benefits from being well-rounded.

23- Every once in awhile, let your inner kid shine–run around Universal Studios nerding out to Harry Potter with one of your best friends. Start a food fight. Re-read a book you loved as a child. Anything to get those creative juices flowing and remind you to stop and appreciate the small stuff.

24- Understand the privilege of being allowed into your friends childrens’ lives and nurture those relationship. Love those babies like you would your own. You’re more of a role model than you think!

25- Set yourself up so you can’t fail. Build yourself an empire, little as it may be, that is reinforced with so much knowledge, experience and thoughtfulness that there’s no way you can fail. And if you do happen to fail, brush off your ego and try again. The only way you won’t succeed in life is if you quit trying.

26- Don’t ever live to work–WORK TO LIVE. Don’t give your extra time and energy to a company that would replace you in a weeks time. Use your vacation hours. Don’t volunteer for projects you’re not being compensated for. Understand the value of your time and energy.

27- Know your worth and demand it be recognized. Women are notoriously bad at negotiating and asking for what they deserve, especially in the work setting. Know how much you should be making. Don’t give away your time for free. Demand hours that work for your life (once you earn this privilege. Entitlement isn’t cute on anyone.) Clap for yourself and don’t let your accomplishments go unnoticed at work. Furthermore, know your worth in relationships too. People show you who they are pretty quickly if you listen to them closely.

28- Take care of the environment around you — you don’t have to dedicate your life to saving the whales, but you can recycle, pick up trash, reduce your waste and overall try to lessen your carbon footprint. We only get one Earth and it’s filling up fast. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to make a big difference.

29- Relationships are work, but there should always be more smiles than tears, the work should be equal, and “I’m sorry”s and “I love you”s should be abundant. It will never, ever be perfect and you WILL find flaws in even the most amazing of partners. You’ll eventually realize the most important qualities that must be present and everything else will be worth tolerating.

30- Communication is KEY in life. The best relationships will come from really good communication — from your sex life to your fighting style, tell your partner what you want/need! It will only make your life and relationship better.

Happy [birthday!] travels <3